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如何自律

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核心提示:Discipline is freedom. You may disagree with this statement, and if you do you are certainly not alone. For many people discipline is a dirty word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. As Stephen R. Covey once wr


Discipline is freedom. You may disagree with this statement, and if you do you are certainly not alone. For many people discipline is a dirty word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. As Stephen R. Covey once wrote, “the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions”. And in the longer term, the undisciplined lack the freedom that comes with possessing particular skills and abilities - e.g. to play a musical instrument or speak a foreign language.

Self-discipline involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life. Therefore it is self-discipline that drives you to:

* Work on an idea or project after the initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away
* Go to the gym when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch TV
* Wake early to work on yourself
* Say “no” when tempted to break your diet
* Only check your email a few of times per day at particular times

In the past self-discipline has been a weakness of mine, and as a result today I find myself lacking the ability to do a number of things which I would like - e.g. to play the guitar. But I have improved, and I can say that it is self-discipline that got me out of bed this morning at 5am to run and then write this article. Believe me, I would love to be curled up in bed right now, but this desire is subordinated by my inner sense of purpose.

If you struggle with self-discipline, the good news is that it can be developed. For example, it is only in the past two years that I have trained myself to wake early. The following are what I have found to be the five traits of self-discipline:

1. Self-Knowledge

Discipline means behaving according to what you have decided is best, regardless of how you feel in the moment. Therefore the first trait of discipline is self-knowledge. You need to decide what behavior best reflects your goals and values. This process requires introspection and self-analysis, and is most effective when tied to written expression. I highly recommend taking the time to write out your goals, dreams and ambitions. Even better, write out a personal mission statement. I found that writing such a statement gave me a greater understanding of who I am, what I am about and what I value. Dr. Covey has an excellent Mission Statement Builder on his site.

2. Conscious Awareness

Self-discipline depends upon conscious awareness as to both what you are doing and what you are not doing. Think about it. If you aren’t aware your behavior is undisciplined, how will you know to act otherwise?

As you begin to build self-discipline, you may catch yourself being in the act of being undisciplined - e.g. biting your nails, avoiding the gym, eating a piece of cake or checking your email constantly. Developing self-discipline takes time, and the key here is you are aware of your undisciplined behavior. With time this awareness will come earlier, meaning rather than catching yourself in the act of being undisciplined you will have awareness before you act in this way. This gives you the opportunity to make a decision that is in better alignment with your goals and values.

3. Commitment

It is not enough to simply write out your goals and values. You must make an internal commitment to them. Otherwise when your alarm clock goes off at 5am you will see no harm in hitting the snooze button for “just another 5 minutes….” Or, when initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away from a project you will struggle to see it through to completion.

If you struggle with commitment, start by making a conscious decision to follow through on what you say you’re going to do - both when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. Then, I highly recommend putting in place a system to track these commitments. As the saying goes, “What gets measured gets improved”.

4. Courage

Did you notice the sweat dripping from the man in the picture at the start of this article? Make no mistake, self-discipline is often extremely difficult. Moods, appetites and passions can be powerful forces to go against. Therefore self-discipline is highly dependent on courage. Don’t pretend something is easy for you to do when it is in fact very difficult and/ or painful. Instead, find the courage to face this pain and difficulty. As you begin to accumulate small private victories, your self-confidence will grow and the courage that underpins self-discipline will come more naturally.

5. Internal Coaching

Self-talk is often harmful, but it can also be extremely beneficial if you have control of it. When you find yourself being tested, I suggest you talk to yourself, encourage yourself and reassure yourself. After all, it is self-talk that has the ability to remind you of your goals, call up courage, reinforce your commitment and keep you conscious of the task at hand. When I find my discipline being tested, I always recall the following quote: “The price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret”. Burn this quote into your memory, and recall in whenever you find yourself being tested. It may change your life.

紀律就是自由。你也許不同意這個說法而且很多人跟你想得一樣。許多人認為紀律只不過是缺乏自由的比較隱諱的說法。而事實上正相反。正如Stephen R. Covey 曾經說過的那樣:“無紀律的人是心情,欲望和情感的奴隸”。而且長此以往,無紀律的人會缺乏因為擁有某種特定技能而帶來的自由,比如說可以演奏一種樂器或者輕松地說一門外語。

自律要求你三思而后行而不是頭腦發熱地憑感覺做事。所以為了真正重要的事情而犧牲暫時的快樂是常有的事。所以,正是自律激勵你做下面的事:

*三分熱度過后,你仍舊可以把某個想法或者項目往后推進直至完成;

*盡管你唯一的渴望就是躺在沙發上看電視,最后仍舊到健身房建身;

*早起健身做各種工作;

*放棄破壞節食的企圖;

*每天只在特定時間收發電子郵件;

過去,自律可是我的一個弱項,結果,如今的我發現有很多我喜歡的事卻沒有能力去做,比如說彈吉他。但是,我已經有所進步了,而且就在今天,就是靠著自律,我5點就起床跑步了,然后還寫了這篇文章。相信我,甚至是現在,我還是想蜷縮在床上休息呢,但是這個愿望跟我內心的目標相較而言是次要的了。

如果你正在和自律作斗爭,好消息是情況會有所改管。拿我來說,我也不過是在2年以前才開始訓練自己早起的。下面是我發現的有關自律的5個要點。

1。自我認識

紀律意味著不管你的感覺如何,你都要照著你經過思考后認為最好的那個方法去做。所以,自律的第一個要點就是自我認識。你必須確定哪種行為能夠最好地反映出你的目標和價值。這個過程需要你進行自省和自我分析,而且最有效的辦法是用筆寫下來。我極力建議你花些時間把你的目標,夢想和抱負用筆寫下來。如果你能夠寫個個人使命陳述書就更棒了。我發現這個陳述書能夠讓我更好地認識到我是誰,我是怎樣一個人以及我的價值是什么。Covey博士在他的網站上就有關于他自己使命的完美陳述。

2。清醒的意識

自律取決于你能夠清醒地意識到自己在做什么,沒有在做什么。想一想,如果你都意識不到自己的行為是無紀律的,你又怎么能夠知道你需要讓自己的行為符合紀律呢?

當你開始自律的時候,你可能正處于行為無紀律狀態,比如說咬指甲,逃避健身,違反節食去偷吃蛋糕或者不停地查收郵件。培養自律是需要時間的,這里的關鍵是你要對自己無紀律的行為有所意識。隨著時間的延長,這種意識會提前,也就是說,在無紀律的行為發生之前,你就意識到了。這樣,你就能夠決定為了更好地實現自己的目標和價值,你不能這樣做。

3。貫徹實施

單單把目標和價值寫下來是不夠的。你必須下決心切實貫徹。否則,早上5點鬧鈴響的時候,你會覺得按下“5分鐘后再響一次”的按鈕沒什么大不了的。或者,當你對某個項目的三分鐘熱度消退的時候,你會陷入是否要完成這個項目的痛苦掙扎中。

如果你總是不能很好地貫徹實施,那么首先請做一個明確的決定:一定要把你說過的你要做的事完成,包括何時做,怎么做。然后,我強烈建議你建立一個系統跟蹤實施的過程。不是有句話叫:“有檢查才能有提高”么。

4。勇氣

你注意到本文開始時,從照片中的男人身上滴下的那滴汗了么?別搞錯了,自律通常來說可是極其困難的。心情,欲望和情感都可能是破壞自律的勁敵。所以,自律極其依賴于勇氣。如果事實上某個事情對你來說是非常困難/或者痛苦的,那就別假裝它很容易,而是要找到面對這些痛苦和困難的勇氣。當你開始取得一點點勝利的時候,自信心就會增強而且當自律需要勇氣時,勇氣會自然到來。

5。自我訓練

自言自語通常是有害的,但是如果你能夠控制它,它可是極其有益的呢。如果你感覺自己在自律面前又有動搖時,我建議你跟自己說話,鼓勵自己,確定自己的信心。自言自語可以提醒你自己的目標,喚起勇氣,鼓勵你貫徹實施,同時也時刻提醒你要完成的任務。每當我發現自己又在搖擺不定的時候,我總是回想這句話:“嚴守紀律的代價總是比悔恨的痛苦來得小得多”。把這句話爛熟于心,每當自己開始動搖的時候就想一想,它能夠改變你的人生。

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