In most of the personal growth advice you will read, positive emotions are considered the goal. We think to ourselves, 'I'm going to do this, this, and this and that will make me happier, more optimistic, and more outgoing.'
And you know what, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, there are many, many different techniques, exercises, and strategies that you can use to achieve those goals.
The best way to achieve those ends would probably elude you though, because it is so simple, most of us don't even think about it.
It turns out that one of the best ways to build up and create positive emotions is by having positive emotions.
Like most of the really useful techniques and exercises in personal growth, this comes from psychology. The theory is called the Broaden and Build theory, and it's a fairly simple one.
Negative Emotions Lead to more Negative Emotions
Because of the way our brains are wired up, negative emotions tend to cause restricted, short term survival oriented behavior. For anyone familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, another way to put this would be to say that negative emotions tend to make us focus on the two bottom levels of the hierarchy, which are:
·Safety needs - safety of our job, of our body, of property, and our immediate health
·Physiological needs - concern for food, water, sleep, and breathing
The really important thing to understand is that this focus feeds on itself in a positive feedback loop. That means that focusing on negative emotions will make you focus even more on negative emotions, and your focus will slide farther and farther towards the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
It's a vicious cycle that a lot of people struggle to escape from.
Positive Emotions Lead to more Positive Emotions
The good news though is that positive emotions work in the same way, which is where the broadening and building comes in.
When we experience positive emotions, our brains lose that narrow focus, the horizons of our mind expand, and we experience varied and novel thoughts and actions which encourages us to explore the world.
And just like negative emotions, positive emotions build on themselves. So experiencing positive emotions leads to more positive emotions and an even broader view of everything around us. This build up of positive emotions affects many, many different areas of our lives. Here are just a few examples.
The Benefits of Positive Emotions
The Broaden and Build theory shows that positive emotions build:
·Attention and Focus - When we're experiencing negative emotions we tend to 'miss the forest for the trees'. When we are experiencing positive emotions, our attention and focus are broadened and deepened.
·Scope of Cognition - Positive emotions cause us to see more interconnection in the world, be more flexible in our thinking, and see more relation and integration in our thoughts and ideas. All these things add up to a big increase in creative thinking.
·Better Relationships - Unhappy couples tend to interact in structured, predictable, and rigid ways. In contrast, happy couples interact in more unpredictable, natural, flowing way. Additionally, happy couples actually build up a surplus of positive sentiments for their partner and their marriage. This surplus acts like a buffer against negative emotions and conflict.
·Resilience to Negative Emotions - Positive emotions actually help to override negative emotions. It has been shown that "individuals who express or report higher levels of positive emotion show more constructive and flexible coping, more abstract and long-term thinking, and greater emotional distance following stressful negative events."
The benefits of positive emotions are clearly varied and extremely substantial. The next thing we need to look at is how to bring more positive emotions into our lives.
4 Ways to Create Positive Emotions
There are many excellent ways to bring positive emotions into our lives. Here are just a few that research has shown to be particularly effective:
Do Relaxation Techniques - Relaxation techniques includes things like meditation, yoga, and muscle relaxation exercises. The primary positive emotion associated with relaxation techniques is contentment. Contentment is particularly good for reversing negative emotions and building resilience to negative emotions.
Find Positive Meaning - Finding positive meaning works in three different ways:
1.Reframing adverse events in a positive light (also called positive reappraisal)
2.Infusing ordinary events with positive value
3.Pursuing and attaining realistic goals
The trick to finding more positive meaning in your life is to just be constantly mindful of it. Evaluate every situation you're in and try to apply those three ways to find positive meaning. The payoff is that people who find a lot of positive meaning in their lives will experience more of the whole range of positive emotions.
Just Smile - Our brains don't know the difference between a real smile and a fake smile, so when you fake a smile, your brain responds in the same way (releases the same 'happy chemicals') that it would if your smile had been genuine. So even faking positive emotions can have a real, positive impact.
Do Something you Love - Some of my favorites are playing soccer, reading, and cooking. These things relax me, make me feel good, and let me forget about the world for awhile. Everyone's favorites will be different and unique. Make sure you know what your favorites are and make sure they are always close at hand.
Remember that positive emotions are only one half of the equation. Negative emotions can be a serious detriment to any progress you make with positive emotions, so be sure to squash negative emotions as they come and replace them quickly with something more positive.
在你讀到的大部分有關個人成長建議方面,積極的情感被當作目標.我們自己會這樣想:我要做這個、這個、還有這個,這會讓我更開心、更樂觀和更外向。
而你知道,這本身沒有什么錯。事實上,有許許多多不同的技術、練習和戰略可助你達到這些目標。達成目標的最好途徑可能規避,因為它是如此簡單,我們很多人甚至都沒想過這個問題。
結果表明建立創建正面感情的方法之一是具有正面情感
個人成長方面的最有效方法來自于心理學。這就是拓寬和建設理論,非常簡單。
負面情緒會導致更負面的情緒
由于我們的大腦聯系方式,負面情緒通常導致有限的短期求生性行為。任何熟悉馬斯洛需求層次理論的人,理論它的另一個方式是說,負面情緒會讓我們專注于最底層的兩個層次上,即:
安全的需要:包括我們對工作、身體、財產和當前健康的安全需要
心理需求:關心食物、水、睡眠和呼吸。
要理解的真正重要的一點是,這種焦點輸入在一個正面的反饋回路中。意思是說,集中在負面情緒上會讓你更集中在負面情緒中,關注舊中國會走得更遠,直到馬斯洛需求層次的最底層。
這是許多人努力擺脫的惡性循環。
正面情緒會帶來更正面的情緒
但是好消息是正面情緒作用方式是一樣的,它是擴展和建設項目的原因。
當我們經歷正面情緒的時候,我們的大腦失去實窄的關注點,心智擴展,并經歷不同的創新性想法和行為,能鼓勵我們探索世界。
正如同負面情緒一樣,正面情緒也建立在自身基礎上。因此,正面的情緒會帶來更正面的情緒,甚至拓展我們對周圍所有事物的看法。這種正面情緒的建立影響到我們生活中的許多方面。下面就是一些例子。
正面情緒的好處:
建設與拓展理論表明正面情緒可建設:
注意力和專注度:當我們感受負面情緒是,我們往往“只見樹木不見森林”。當我們感受正面情緒時,我們的注意力和焦點都得到拓寬和深化。
認知范圍:正面情緒使我們看到世界上更多的互相關聯,在思考中會更靈活,在思想觀念中會有更多關聯和整合。所有這些加起來,會達成創造新思維的巨大增長。
更好的關系:怨偶往往以一種結構化的可預測的剛性方式互相影響。相反,快樂夫妻以更不可預測的、自然的流暢方式互相影響。另外,快樂夫妻確實能在婚姻和伙伴關系中建立更多的正面情感。這種更多的正面情緒具有緩和負面情緒和沖突的作用。
恢復到負面情緒:正面情緒確實能幫助克服負面情緒。已表明“表達更高程度的正面情緒的個人表現出更有建設性和更靈活的處理能力,思維更抽象更長期,處理壓力負面事件更理性”。
正面情緒的好處明顯不同并極為實質。下面我們要看的另一個總是是怎么樣把正面情緒帶入我們生活中。
創建正面情緒的種方法:
有許多很好的方法把正面情緒帶入生活。下面是一些研究表明特別有效的:
放松的方法:放松方法包括冥想、瑜伽、肌肉放松練習。與放松方法有關的基本正面情緒是滿足。滿足感對逆轉負面情緒、從負面情緒中恢復特別有用。
尋找正面的意義:這種方法從三個方面產生效果:
1. 以正面眼光重建不利事物(也稱作正面重新評估)
2. 將正面價值注入普通事物
3. 追求實現現實目標
發現生活中更正面意義的技巧就是不斷留心它。評估自己所處的情況,努力應用這三種方法找到正面意義。結果就是在生活中找到許多正面意義的人會感受更多正面情緒。
保持微笑:我們的大腦并不能區別真實的微笑和裝出的微笑,因此當你裝笑時,大腦反應方式是一樣的,都會釋放出同樟的快樂化學物,久之,你的微笑就會變成真的。因此,就算是裝出一種正面情緒也可以具有真實的正面影響。
做自己熱愛的事情:我愛好足球、閱讀和烹飪。這些事情能讓我放松,讓我感覺良好,讓我忘記世界片刻。每個人的愛好都很獨特,各不相同。確信了解自己的愛好,確信是伸手可及的。
記住,正面情緒還只是等式的一半。負面情緒也可以是你用正面情緒構建的程序的損害因素,因此,當負面情緒來臨的時候一定要壓制住,并迅速用一些更積極的東西取代它。