How many of you believe this? Why do you believe it? Are you one of the lucky ones? Or does luck seem to pass you by? And just what is luck, anyhow?
According to John D. Krumboltz and Al S. Levin, there’s no such thing as luck. In fact, they shirk the use of the word in their book Luck Is No Accident: Making the Most of Happenstance in Your Life and Career, opting instead to use “happenstance”, a word with less baggage. Krumboltz and Levin argue that luck/happenstance isn’t something that randomly effects us — it’s something that we create out of the chance situations and encounters that run through our lives:
Have you ever noticed that unplanned events — chance occurrences — more often determine your life and career choices than all the careful planning you do? A chance meeting, a broken appointment, a spontaneous vacation trip, a “fill-in” job, a newly discovered hobby — these are the kinds of experiences — happenstances — that lead to unexpected life directions and career choices.
The key is to recognize these opportunities and to act on them. Here are some techniques the authors suggest we can use to turn happenstance to our advantage.
Make the most of unplanned events. We are constantly bombarded by the unexpected. Most of the time, we dodge unplanned events in order to return to our normal lives. We fear the spontaneous. But if you can relax, open your mind, and roll with the unexpected, new opportunities will unfold.
Share your interests and experiences with people you meet. You don’t need to force your story on others. But learn to strike up conversations with people you meet in daily life. Ask them about their lives. They’ll ask you about yours. As Keith Ferrazzi notes in Never Eat Alone, this is a great way to form connections you might otherwise miss. It’s a great way to turn a random encounter into a possible “lucky break”. (Sometimes you will be a source of luck for the people you meet, just as they will sometimes be a source of luck for you.)
Always keep your options open. Goals are good. But single-minded devotion to a goal can often blind one to other opportunities. It’s also a mistake to cling to a path you hate out of a sense of obligation. If you enter law school and discover you hate it, quit. Don’t endure years of misery because you feel it’s expected of you. “Refuse to serve a life sentence of misery,” the authors write. You have more options than you think. But you may need to open your eyes to see them.
Wake up — before your dreams come true. When I was a boy, I loved computers. Computer programmers, like those in WarGames and Real Genius, were my heroes. But when I finally got a chance to program computers, it wasn’t anything like I had imagined it. It was drudgery. I gave up my dream and moved on to something else. Pursue goals, but be sure to reassess your progress and your priorities at regular intervals to prevent yourself from becoming trapped in a reality that is nothing like your dreams.
Try it — even without knowing the outcome. Two of the best ways to “be lucky” are to be willing to take calculated risks and to embrace unexpected opportunities. Try new things. Go new places. Don’t just do the things for which you know the eventual outcome. I’ve learned that the best way for me to grow as a person is to do something completely outside my comfort zone. Good things happen when I do.
Maintain a strong social network. “Building and maintaining good relationships with other people is an important component for job success,” the authors write. Other people can provide support in times of trouble, they can act as resources when you need information, and they can offer valuable connections to other social networks. Again, Keith Ferrazzi covers many of these concepts in Never Eat Alone, a book that explores the value of strong social networks. (And remember: it’s just as important for you to help others as it is for you to draw upon their help.)
Go ahead and make mistakes. Do not be afraid to fail. Yes, it’s trite, but it’s true: those who never try, never fail. And those who never fail, never learn. “First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen?” Dale Carnegie once advised. “Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.” If you can learn to react to mistakes constructively, you can actually improve your situation and get on with life.
Take action to create your own luck. The authors offer a number of useful tips for creating your own luck:
Act now. Don’t procrastinate. Begin pursuing your goals today.
Avoid the “sunk cost fallacy”. Just because you’ve spent time and money on something doesn’t mean you can or should continue doing so.
Take advantage of timely opportunities. Don’t be afraid to say “yes” when a favorable circumstance arises.
Always do your best work, even when you think the task is unimportant.
Ask for what you want. If you do not ask, you cannot receive.
Be persistent. Don’t give up. Work hard.
Become a lifelong learner. In 50 Success Classics, Tom Butler-Bowdon notes that most successful men and women have made a habit of reading, and of constant self-improvement.
Follow these seven guidelines, and your “luck” is bound to improve.
Enjoy yourself — the good life is a balanced life. Here’s advice I sometimes forget. A person who leads a balanced life is happier, more relaxed, more open to new experiences. If you maintain good relationships, pursue satisfying hobbies, go out of your way to help others, and continue to pursue personal growth, you will become a well-rounded person, just the sort that “luck” favors.
Overcome self-sabotage. Finally, in order to make the most of “luck” and happenstance, you must learn to face down their greatest enemy: your self. Each of us is capable of thwarting good fortune through negative self-talk. We beat ourselves up over our pasts. We tell ourselves that we “can’t” do something before we even try.
Dale Carnegie once said, “Happiness doesn’t depend on ay external conditions — it is governed by your mental attitude.” Some people might dismiss this as bunk, but research bears it out. Don’t worry about circumstances beyond your control. Learn to control the things you can, including your reaction to the world around you. How you respond to an unfortunate event is often more important than the event itself. Krumboltz and Levin write:
You have control over your own actions and how you think about the events that impact your life. None us can control the outcomes, but your actions can increase the probability that desired outcomes will occur. There are no guarantees in life. The only guarantee is that doing nothing will get you nowhere.
Inaction is the surest path to failure. You cannot succeed if you never try. My father used to tell me this, but I never took his advice to heart. I became an expert at doing nothing, at never daring to pursue my dreams. Over the past two years, I’ve begun to overcome this fear, have begun to act. I’ve begun to make my own luck.
Luck Is No Accident is a short book. Nothing in it is groundbreaking or revolutionary. Yet its common-sense wisdom is a powerful motivator. Whenever I read this book — I’ve read it three times in the past year — I cannot help but come away inspired, ready to make more of my situation, and to try new things. Is it worth owning? Perhaps not. But if you’re the sort of person who wonders why good things only happen to other people, I certainly encourage you to borrow a copy from your local library.
你們當中有多少人相信這個?為什么你不相信?你是那些有運氣的人當中的一員嗎?還是運氣似乎與你擦肩而過?那么,到底什么是運氣呢?
根據約翰克蘭波斯博士和愛爾列文的研究,沒有運氣這回事,事實上。他們在書中一直回避使用這個詞。《運氣并非偶然》:讓最多的可能性發生在你的生命中和職業中,用選擇來代替偶然。這個詞有點不合時宜了。克蘭波斯和列文為運氣和偶然是否一些隨機影響我們生活的事物而作出說明。是我們創造了機會和偶然事件來影響我們的生活。
你是否注意到了?一些計劃外的事情也就是偶然事件比那些你專門的計劃更多的決定著你的生活和職業的選擇。一個偶然的會面,一次不經心的約會,一個自發的假期,一個臨時的工作,一個新發現的愛好,總有這樣一些人生體驗和偶然事件,導致了你無法預知的人生方向和職業選擇。
關鍵是要認識到這些機會并利用他們。下面是作者給我們的一些如何使偶然變成我們的優勢的技巧。
利用計劃外的事件。我們經常會遭遇到無法預料的事。大多數情況下,我們會避開這些計劃外的事,回到正常的生活軌道中來。我們害怕一時沖動。但是如果我們放松些,打開自己的思維,把握住那些不期而來的事,新的機遇就會展開。
同你見到的人分享你的興趣和經驗。你不必強迫別人來聽你的故事。但你可以同你日常生活中碰到的人開始交談。詢問他們的生活情況。他們就會同你交流,同時也會問你的一些情況。凱西注意到在集體聚餐時,就是一個很好的方式同別人聯系的機會。不然,你會錯過它。將偶然的邂逅變成可能的運氣。(有時候,你可能是別人的運氣的來源,就如同有時別人也是你的運氣資源一樣。)放開你的選擇思路。有目標是很好。但是一門心思的投入一個目標經常會使人忽略其他機會。如果你對所選的道路非常討厭,只是出于責任而去做,這也是不對的。如果你進入了一個法律學校,自己非常討厭它,就不會年復一年的忍受這種痛苦的生活因為你會感到一切都在意料之中。“拒絕一種注定的生活,一種可悲的生活。”作者說。你的選擇可以比你想到的更多。但是你也許必須打開思維才能見到。在美夢變成現實之前,醒來。當我是一個小孩時,我喜歡計算機,一個計算機程序設計員,就像那些戰爭游戲和神魔游戲中的主角一樣,是我心目中的英雄。但當我最后得到了一個機會為計算機編程時,并不像我原來想像的那么樣了。 這真是一件苦差事。我放棄了我的夢想轉而做別的事。追求目標。再次確定你的進程和優先要做的事,并且定期檢查,可以防止你被現實中一些無關夢想的事纏住。努力嘗試,即使你不知道結果。對于運氣,兩個很好的方式是一,愿意冒著不可避免的危險,愿意擁抱不可知的機會。嘗試新事物。去新的地方。不要做那些你一看就知道結果的事。對我來說,最好的成長方式就是做一些完全在我的舒適度之外的事。當我做的時候,就會有一些好的事情發生。保持強有力的社會網絡。建立和同別人保持好的聯系對于工作的成功是個很好的因素。在你遇到麻煩的時候,其他的人可以給你支持,當你需要信息時,他們可以是你的資源。他們可能提供有價值的其他社會關系網。同時,凱西還指出了共同聚餐時的許多這方面的情況。這本書這本書探討了強大的社會關系網的價值。(記住:對你來說,幫助別人很重要,意味著你可以得到他們的幫助。)
往前看,犯錯不要緊。不要害怕犯錯。雖然這句話很普通,但確實是真理:從來不去做,永遠不會犯錯誤,永遠也學不到東西。“首先問你自己,發生的最壞的事情是什么?”戴爾曾經建議。“然后準備接受它。然后繼續在最壞的情況下進步。”如果你學會了積極應對錯誤,你就實際上改進了你的境遇,使你的生活有所進步。
采取行動為自己創造運氣。作者提供了一系列有用的建議來讓你創造自己的運氣。
馬上行動。不要拖延。今天就開始你的目標。
避免陷入錯誤中。 不是說你在某些事上花了很多錢和時間你就可以繼續做下去。利用臨時的機會。當一個有利的環境到來時,不要害怕說是
一直把工作做到最好。即使你認為這個工作并不重要。問問自己想要什么。如果你不問,你就不會有所得。堅持。不要放棄。努力工作。終身學習。在50例成功者中,湯姆注意到了大多數男性和女性都有一個讀書的習慣。一直不斷的自我提高。做到這以上七條。你的運氣自然就會提高。
欣賞你自己--最好的生活 方式就是平衡生活這是我曾經忘記的一些建議。一個善于在生活中取得平衡的人是更快樂的。放松的對于新的體驗是開放的。如果你一直保持良好的社會關系,令人滿意的習慣。并走出去幫助別人。你就會成為一個完美的人。運氣就是青睞你這種人。克服自我的惰性。
最后,為了促成運氣和偶然的發生。你必須克服它們最大的敵人,就是你自己。消極的自我否定使我們每個人都可能會錯過好運氣。我們被我們的過去打敗了。在自己親自去嘗試之前就說自己不能。戴爾卡耐基“快樂并不是依賴于某個特定的環境,而是由我們內心的態度來決定的。有些人也許會躲開這個,但是研究表明,你必須去承受它。不要對你不能控制的環境去擔心。學著控制一些你能控制的事。包括對于這個世界的反應。你對于不幸事件的態度比這個事件本身更重要。克蘭博茨和列文說。
你得控制你自己的行為和對影響你的生活的事件如何思考的。沒有人能控制結果。但是你的行為可以增加你想要的結果出現的可能性。在生活中沒有保證,但唯一的保證是不做讓你一無所有的事。
無為是導致失敗最直接的因素。如果你不去試的話,你將永遠不會成功。我父親過去告訴我這一點,但是我過去從沒放在心上。我成為了一個一事無成的人。從來不敢去追求自己的夢想。過去兩年的時間里,我克服了這 種害怕。開始行動起來。我開始有了自己的好運氣。運氣絕非偶然是一本很短的書。里面沒有什么讓人驚奇的事。或者什么革命性的東西。但是這個平常意義上的智慧卻是一個有力的動力。無論何時,我讀到它過去兩年我讀了三遍,我情不自禁的受到感染,不忍放下,并隨時準備著改變環境,做更多的事,做新的嘗試。這本書值得你擁有嗎?也許不值得。但當你總是對于為什么好運氣總是落到別人頭的感到懷疑時,我當然要建議你到當地圖書館去借一本來讀一下。