Use these excuses as freely and as loosely as you want.

1. Great Aspirations
When I grow up, I don’t want to be the President, an astronaut or even a hairdresser. I want to be a homeless street beggar. As far as I know, I don’t need any qualifications for this, except maybe a strange disgusting smell. My life is planned and set.

2. I Am a Pirate
Arrgh, ye black tongued powder monkey! If ye be trying to make me do homework, I’ll sooner dance the hempen jig and see you to Davy Jones! And . . . um . . . arrgh!

3. Intelligent + Awesome = Government Property
I’m sorry that I couldn’t hand in my homework today, but it’s because the government has decided my intelligence is too high for a normal school. They are preparing a testing area for me, but until then, I’m not allowed to use my awesome intelligence for anything.

4. Homework or Punctuality
I was going to do it before coming to school, but then I realized I was late. So it was either being at school or handing in homework, and I so enjoy your company, Ms. Wilson. Fine, I’ll go to the Principal’s office.

5. I Am a Ninja
Hear that voice? That’s me behind you with a katana at your throat. Don’t turn around. I’m only going to say this once. Ninjas don’t do homework. That is all. Away! Crap, I tripped. Cloak of Shadows! Yes, I know that I’m hiding behind your curtains. Yes, Ms. Wilson, I’ll hand it in tomorrow. So close . . .

6. A Pet Problem
My Tamagotchi ate it.

7. I Am a Secret Pirate Ninja Robot Spy
Secret Pirate Ninja Robot Spies are incapable of homework. Homework makes me volatile and dangerous and I might explode with awesome secret pirate ninja robo force.

8. Great, Great, Great and Grand
When my great, great, great grandmother was freed from slavery, she vowed she would never work for someone else again. I intend to honour and preserve her greatness by following in her footsteps and thus I’ll not be doing homework.

9. Procrastinate Forever
Sorry, Ms. Wilson, I can’t hand in my homework. I used diversion tactics and avoided you to put off handing in the homework for so long that I’ve finished school, got a job, and married your daughter. What? You’ll be visiting us everyday? I’ll just go get started on 4 years of homework...

10. Lastly,
I have a lightsaber. Don’t make me use it.

11. (Bonus) The Real Lastly,
I was walking to school when my house exploded! Rushing back, I realized a team of skilled robots had taken over the area my house used to be. I quickly built a nuclear reactor which overheated and exploded, killing them and gifting me with super-powers. Using these super-powers, I saved the town from the space invaders and received the key to the city. That is why I couldn’t do my homework. (Hey, this is so crazy, it just might work. But if it works, I can’t put it in a list of homework excuse that don’t work!) EDIT: Never mind, it didn’t work.

隨心地使用以下這些自由的和懶散的借口吧。

1. 遠大抱負

從小,我就沒有要立志當總統、宇航員,甚至當一名理發師。我想成為一個露宿街頭的乞丐。因為我知道,我并不需要任何的資格去成為一個乞丐,除了一身奇怪而難聞的氣味。我的人生已經如此規劃好了。

2. 我是一個海盜

啊,你們這些黑舌頭粉末的猴子!如果你想讓我做作業,我會立刻跳大麻吉格舞(絞死的隱晦說法),送你去和大衛·瓊斯見面!而且…呃…啊!

3. 智慧 + 卓越的 = 政府財產

我很抱歉我今天不能交作業了,這是因為政府覺得我的智商對于普通學校來說已經太高了。他們正在為我準備一個實驗基地,但在實驗基地建成之前,我不可以使用我的高超智商做任何事情。

4. 作業或準時

我準備在來學校上課之前把作業做好,但我發覺這樣我會遲到。所以,在來學校上課和交作業之間,只能選擇一個,而我,是如此地熱愛有你的陪伴,威爾遜老師。知道了,我會到校長辦公室去的。

5. 我是一個隱者

聽聽那聲音? 這是我站在你身后,用武士刀抵著你的喉嚨。千萬不要轉身,我只準備說一次。隱者是不會做作業的。說完了。走開! 廢物,我走了。隱藏在黑影中。 是的,我知道我正藏在你的窗簾的背面。是的,威爾遜老師,我明天會交作業的了。所以,請把窗簾放下來吧……

6. 寵物問題

我的電子寵物把我的作業吃掉了。

7. 我是一個海盜隱者秘密間諜機器人

海盜隱者秘密間諜機器人是做不了作業的。作業使我的性能處于不穩定和危險的狀態,在高性能的神秘海盜隱者機器人的影響里下我會爆炸的。

8.曾曾曾祖輩們

當我的曾曾曾祖母從奴隸解放后,她發誓再也不會再為任何人做事了。為了緬懷和繼承她的偉大貢獻,我決定跟隨她的腳步,所以,我是不會去做作業的。

9. 不限期推延

對不起,威爾遜老師,我無法遞交作業。我使用轉換策略,以避免你用太長的時間批改我的作業,一直到我已經畢業、工作,并和你女兒結婚。什么? 你會每天都來探望我們? 我立刻開始去把4年的作業都作完。

10. 最后

我有一把光劍。不要逼迫我使用它啊。

11.(獎金)真正的最后

在我走路上學的時候,我家的房子爆炸了! 急忙往回走,我發現一隊智能機器人已經占據了我家房子原所在地。我以最快的速度建了一座過熱而且爆炸了的核反應堆,把那些機器人都消滅了,而且我還得到了超能力。擁有了這些超能力,我不僅趕走了來自地球外的侵略者保衛了我們家鄉的安全,而且還得到了通往城市的鑰匙。這就是我不能做作業的原因(嘿,這是多么瘋狂啊,這只是有可能可行。但是,如果這真的可行,我無法將這列為沒有完成作業的借口之一!) 備注:不用擔心,這絕對是行不通的。