If we really want to be happy, why do we act like such babies?
We can claim to be proactive in our life by settings goals and going after what we want. But if we're always whining and complaining all the time, are we really living effectively?
If you don't believe me, count how many times you complain about something or other in one day. Whether it be being stuck in traffic, being bothered by the weather, not enough mustard on your sandwich, or whatever it is, there are endless instances where you can find a reason to complain.
But it's not just outside circumstances that we complain about. We complain about about ourselves too. We complain that we don't have enough time, we don't have enough money (this one is huge because it's often "true"), that we're not smart enough, cool enough, or just enough.
I know I've experienced plenty of unpleasantness due to complaining about things I can't control. I never really thought about it much until I found this website about "living in a complain free world."
Imagine how much happier you would be if you simply stopped complaining? Much of what you complain about is outside of your control anyway. What's the point of brooding about something you have no power to change? Not very intelligent, if you ask me.
Simply becoming conscious of how much you complain is the first step to stopping. When you recognize that you're complaining, stop and take notice of it. Ask yourself if you would rather complain, or be happy.
Are you ready to live a complaint-free, happier life?
The two steps to stop whining so much:
1. Make it a priority to notice every time you complain or unnecessarily criticize. This includes judging others. Now, every time you catch yourself complaining, just stop and notice it.
2. After you've noticed yourself complaining, ask yourself this: Is there anything I can do about what I'm complaining about, or it outside of my control? If there is something you can do about it, do it. If there is nothing you can do, let it go.
Obviously, this is a little easier said than done. Complaining is an addiction and a hard habit to break. Like any other habit to break, it will take time.
Even though it may be a long time (or possibly never) before you're living completely complaint-free, that's still okay. The good news is this isn't all-or-nothing. Even 10% less complaining will have an immediate positive impact on your life. Then, once you've decreased your whining by 10%, you can keep bootstrapping your way down to complaining less and less.
After complaints show up less and less, something awesome starts to happen. Once your mind realizes that you won't tolerate its moaning, it will begin to give up its efforts. (Whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of complaining that you're complaining.)
So the question is: Would you rather complain or be happy?
(Oh and by the way, having gratitude is a great way to stop complaining.)
如果我們真的想快樂,為什么我們不能像嬰兒一樣表現(xiàn)呢?
我們設(shè)定一個又一個的目標(biāo),不斷追逐功名利祿,在我們看來,這樣的生活充滿動力。然而,如果我們內(nèi)心永不滿足,這真的是充實(shí)的生活嗎?
你也許不這么認(rèn)為,但看看自己在一天里有過多少這樣那樣的抱怨和不滿吧。遇上交通堵塞、碰到壞天氣、又或許是三明治里的芥末放少了,還有其他什么的,能讓你找到不滿理由的事情可是不勝枚舉的。
況且,你想抱怨的事情不光是那些戶外的。我們也會對自己感到不滿,總抱怨自己沒有時間、沒有金錢(這倒經(jīng)常發(fā)生,因?yàn)橥ǔ_@是"事實(shí)"),自己不夠聰明、長得不夠酷等等,這些就足夠你抱怨的了。
我清楚自己也曾有過這樣的經(jīng)歷,因?yàn)樽约簾o法控制而產(chǎn)生諸多抱怨。我從未細(xì)想過這些,直到我發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個關(guān)于"生活在無怨的世界中"的網(wǎng)站。
設(shè)想一下,你只要停止抱怨,你的心情會變得多么好呢?多數(shù)抱怨是源于對外界事物無法控制。把精力用在你無法改變的事物上,是何等的情況呢?這可謂愚蠢之極,如果你要我回答的話。
停止抱怨的第一步就是意識到你多么愛抱怨。一旦你明白你正在抱怨,那么停止然后仔細(xì)掂量這種情感。問問自己是抱怨苦惱好呢,還是心情愉快好?
準(zhǔn)備登上沒有抱怨的開心之旅了嗎?
停止抱怨的兩個步驟:
1. 每當(dāng)你開始抱怨或進(jìn)行多余的批評的時候,你就要注意了。這其中也包括對他人評頭論足。現(xiàn)在起,每次發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在抱怨時,立即停止并意識到這點(diǎn)。
在意識到之后,問自己一個問題:我抱怨的事情是自己力所能及的還是能力之外的?如果可以解決,那么就采取行動,如果不能,那就靜觀其變吧。
很顯然,說起來容易做起來難。抱怨是一種很難改掉的習(xí)慣。和其他的習(xí)慣一樣,改掉它要花時間。
即使做到完全不抱怨要花上你很長一段時間,那也得做。幸運(yùn)的是,這并不是"全有或全無"的事情。即使你改掉了一成的這個壞習(xí)慣,也會給我們生活帶來積極的影響。然后,當(dāng)你改掉到只剩一成的時候,就能讓自己逐漸遠(yuǎn)離抱怨了。
一旦你很少很少抱怨,一些奇妙的事情就會發(fā)生。可當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己無法忍受對方咆哮的時候,這一切就會前功盡棄。(不管你做任何事情,千萬不要落入抱怨的陷阱。)
還是捫心自問:要抱怨還是要快樂?
(順便說一下,停止抱怨很好的一種方法就是心存感激)