Like Yourself More

    Recently I turned to a friend who was riding in my car and asked her, "What do you like about yourself?" We rode in silence for several minutes. Finally, she turned to me and said, apologetically, "I can't think of anything."

    I was stunned. My friend is intelligent, charming, and compassionate – yet she couldn't see any of that.

    I know she's not alone. Low self-esteem has become the number-one issue plaguing women. Despite God's assurance that he's absolutely crazy about us, most of us can't believe he means us. It's like the cynical editor who tells the cub reporter, "If your mother says she loves you, check it out."

    I was a reporter for 12 years. One of the first things I learned in researching a story was "garbage in, garbage out." If your raw date is flawed, you end up with a faulty conclusion. The same is true with how we see ourselves. If we lack self-confidence, maybe we're working with flawed data.

    The reality is, in hundreds of subtle ways, our culture, family, friends – even our thought life – conspire to undermine our confidence. We grow up in families void of affirmation, encouragement, and respect – the building blocks to self-confidence. Then we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of a world that lionizes Size Two Hollywood starlets and Barbie-doll figures. Our paycheck, our title, or some other artificial yardstick gives us temporary entrée into the world of The Accepted. But in our hearts, we know it isn't real. How do we find our way to the truth?

    最近， 我問坐在我車里的一位朋友： "你喜歡自己什么？" 沉默了好幾分鐘后， 她轉向我， 滿臉歉意地說： "我想不出來。"

    我十分詫異， 她竟然看不到自己的任何優點。 她是一個多么聰明， 美麗迷人而又富有同情心的姑娘啊！！！

    我深知并非只有她一人如此， 自尊心較低已成為女性最大的困擾。 盡管上帝保證深愛著我們， 但我們大多數人不能相信他說的"我們". 就像憤世嫉俗的編輯對初出茅廬的記者說： "如果你媽媽說她愛你， 那就去確認一下吧。"

    我已經做了12年的記者， 在采訪中我首先學到的是 "錯進， 錯出". 若你的初始資料有誤， 那么你的結論也不會正確。 同理， 我們看待自己也是如此。 如果我們缺乏自信心， 那也是在操作有錯誤的數據資料。

    事實上， 通過許多種微妙的方式， 我們的信心被文化， 家庭， 朋友甚至是精神生活共同削弱。 我們成長的家庭缺乏肯定， 鼓勵和尊重， 而這些正是建立自信的基石。 于是， 我們發現， 自己所處的世界推崇好萊塢二流明星和芭比娃娃的形象。 我們的薪水， 頭銜或者其他人為的標準讓我們臨時步入所謂的上流社會。 但是， 在內心深處， 我們知道它并不真實， 那通往真實的道路到底在哪里呢？