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男人間的友誼

放大字體  縮小字體 發布日期:2006-10-06  來源:chinadaily
男人從未像女人那樣開誠布公地說出自己的心里話,但無言的理解,在男人當中卻很管用,尤其在維持友誼的時候。

也許男人天生就是彼此孤立的,孤獨是我們的自然狀態。即使成了朋友,也是無聲的友誼,這使得我們能彼此獨立地活著。

而一旦男人間建立起友誼,友誼本身就已說明了一切。我們的沉默,就是來自于對這份情感的欣賞。

The silence of men in general is overtalked about and overcriticized. To be sure, men never open up as much as women want them to, but there is a wordless understanding in which we function fairly well especially in friendships.

I believe, in fact, that most women would prefer a man to be gloomily uncommunicative than to spill his guts at the drop of a hat.

The push for men to express their feelings presumes that we have feelings, and we do have a few, but they remain submerged, and the airing of them often violates their authenticity.

I am no biologist, but my guess is that the male human animal was programmed for silence. I would go so far as to argue that men were programmed to be isolated from one another and that aloneness is our natural state. Silence in male friendships is our way of being alone with each other.

Once men have established a friendship that itself is the word. The affection is obvious, at least to us. A main component of our silence is an appreciation of the affection.

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