Joke:Jokes

Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.

Student : Please teacher,I don＇t think I want to study history.

Teacher : Why?

Student : There is no future in it.

Teacher : Ted,if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?

Ted : $10.

Teacher : You don＇t know maths.

Ted : You don＇t know my father!

Mother : David, come here.

David : Yes, mum?

Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.

Mother : I know that.But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?

Son : On Monday,teacher said 3+5=8

Father : So?

Son : On Tuesday,she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday,she said 6+2=8.

If she can＇t make up her mind,how do I know the right answer?
英語(yǔ)作文網(wǎng)整理收集

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly,there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter : It＇s mummy!

Father : How do you know?

Daughter : She didn＇t say anything.

Old lady : Doctor,I＇ve got a pain in my left leg.

Doctor (after examining her) : It＇s caused by old age.

Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it＇s as old as the left leg.

Two men were facing each other on the train.

First man : I know my hearing isn＇t that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can＇t hear a word.

Second man : I wasn＇t speaking. I was only chewing gum.

An English professor wrote these word＇s "Woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. 

The men wrote "Woman, without her man,is a savage"

The woman wrote "Woman : without her, man is a savage."