“The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.”

- Edward R. Murrow

Note: The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab (great eloquence or skill at flattery).

There will always be people who seem to have the ‘gift of the gab’ — they can talk their way into any job, out of any awkward situation and make others laugh. It seems effortless on their part but there is a lot more for you to know about conversation than you may realize. Talk shows; radio programs; public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words.

It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it’s your mouth that’s doing the work, your brain works extra hard to produce a lot of things you know.

So what better way to start being a more effective communicator than knowing the very person closest to you: yourself.

1. What You Know

Education is all about learning the basics, but to be a confident and effective orator is to practice what you’ve learned.

2. Listening

It’s just as important as asking questions. Practice listening to yourself. Sometimes just by listening to the sound of your own voice you can become more confident in yourself and say the things you believe in with conviction.

3. Humility

We are only too human and therefore we all make mistakes. It’s not uncommon to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means. So don’t be afraid to ask if you’re saying the right word properly and if the audience is unsure about it then you can always make a joke out of it.

4. Eye Contact

It’s important that you keep eye contact when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, as it conveys confidence and ensures your audience does not ignore you.

5. Humor

A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech, especially when the topic is heavy or the speech long. Also if your speech is after several other speakers, the audience may already be half asleep. With humor, you’ll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they’ll feel that you’re just as approachable, and as human as those who listen.

6. Social Interaction

Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You’ll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what makes people the way they are..

7. Me, Myself, and I

Ever sung to yourself in the shower, or bath? By listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech you can help correct the stress areas of your pitch.

8. With a Smile

A smile can say it all very much like eye contact, as long as it’s natural and not forced. There’s no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it’s a funeral. You can better express what you’re saying when you smile and people will warm to you more.

9. A Role Model

There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they’re at a public gathering and whom you have admired. Taking a mental note of how they emphasized what they said and what reaction they got can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation

Preparation is everything and will show in your speech. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while others learn the speech verbatim. Just be comfortable with what you know and what works for you.

And that about sums it up. These are only suggestions though and they may seem rather amateurish, but they have helped me in any public or private speaking. It also never hurts to be with people and listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational. Copy from the best.

   “即便是最新型的電腦也只能在速度上調(diào)節(jié)人類關(guān)系的最古老問題，最后交流者還是得面臨這一原始問題：該說些什么？如何說出口？”——愛德華·默羅

注：巧言石是一塊具有歷史意義的石頭。實際上，它是愛爾蘭布拉尼城堡的一部分，相傳親吻此石后即變得能說會道（善于花言巧語）。

總有那么一些人似乎“能說會道”- 他們不僅能夠用自己的方式談?wù)撊魏问虑椋瑪[脫任何困境，還總是能夠逗得別人發(fā)笑。

對他們來說，這一切似乎都來得不費摧毀之力。但是，除了你可能已經(jīng)了解到的會談要訣外，還有更多有關(guān)會談方面的知識是你必須知道的。談話節(jié)目；廣播節(jié)目；公共演講；普通會話；當(dāng)通過文字互動時，需要應(yīng)用到一些特定的規(guī)則。

我知道，這聽起來可能會有點單調(diào)乏味，但是即便只是你的嘴巴在進行演講，你的大腦也還是在極為努力地運轉(zhuǎn)著，在腦海中衍生你所熟知的許多東西。所以，對于學(xué)習(xí)如何成為一名令人更為印象深刻的交流者來說，還有比了解最接近你的那個人-你自己本人，來得更好的方式么？

1. 你知道什么

教育只是學(xué)習(xí)基本知識。但是，如何成為一名既自信又令人印象深刻的演講者卻是如何將你所學(xué)過的知識進行實踐應(yīng)用。

2. 傾聽

傾聽和發(fā)問來得一樣重要。練習(xí)傾聽你自己的聲音。有時候只要通過傾聽你自己的聲音，你就會對自己感到更加自信，并敢于說出你自己深信不疑的東西。

3. 謙卑

我們都非圣人，所以我們所有人都會犯錯。我們都會含糊發(fā)音，說話口吃或可能發(fā)錯音，即便我們知道這都意味著什么，這些現(xiàn)象都是司空見慣的。所以，請不要害怕詢問你是否用適當(dāng)?shù)姆绞秸f出了正確的詞語。此外，通常當(dāng)聽眾對這個詞并不確定時，你也可以對此一笑置之。

4. 目光接觸

在會議或聚會上同一大群聽眾談話時，必須同聽眾保持目光上地接觸，這一點尤為重要。因為目光接觸不僅能夠傳達自信，還能保證你的聽眾不會忽視你。

5. 幽默

進行演講時，特別是當(dāng)演講的主題很是沉重或是演講過于冗長時，一點點小幽默確實對提高緊張度或消除討厭的厭惡感具有意想不到的效果。同樣地，如果你是在眾多演講者之后才開始演講的話，聽眾們可能早已處在半昏睡的狀態(tài)了。但是，只要使用一些小幽默，大部分的聽眾將會對你的演講給予一定的關(guān)注。此外，他們還將覺得你同聽眾們來得一樣地平易近人，一樣地人性化。

6. 社會互動

互動即為同其他人的交融。你將會獲得許多的想法。同樣地，你也會知道究竟是什么讓人們變?yōu)楝F(xiàn)在所見的那個樣子。

7. 我，我自己/我本人

你曾今在淋浴或洗澡時對自己唱過歌么？練習(xí)演講時，可通過傾聽自己的聲音幫助你調(diào)節(jié)音調(diào)的強調(diào)部分。

8. 面帶微笑

只要自然并主動地微笑，微笑可說同目光接觸來得一樣地舉足輕重。除非是在葬禮上，否則在會議或是聚會上沒有理由一臉痛苦或郁悶。當(dāng)你微笑時，你不僅能夠更好地表達你所要說的東西，人們也將會更熱情地回應(yīng)你。

9. 行為榜樣

在你生活中至少得有一個或兩個的人可作為你的行為榜樣。這些榜樣必須是你在公共聚會上見過他們演講，并且對他們贊賞有加的人。有意識地記住他們強調(diào)所要表達內(nèi)容的方式及他們所做的反應(yīng)。一旦你站上舞臺中心時，這這些對你來說都是極其有幫助的。

10. 準(zhǔn)備

準(zhǔn)備是一切的基礎(chǔ)。你的演講是否準(zhǔn)備充分，這在演講中將會體現(xiàn)出來。有些人習(xí)慣只在索引卡上寫下一些綱要，但有些人習(xí)慣逐字逐句地背下演講稿。哪種方式為你熟知，哪種方式對你有效，你就采用哪種方式吧。

最后就是關(guān)于如何結(jié)束演講。我有一些小小的建議：雖然這些建議看起來相當(dāng)業(yè)余，但是，不論是在公共還是在私人的演講會上，它們確實讓我受益匪淺。同人們進行討論并傾聽他們?nèi)绾问拐勗捇?會議變得更為愉快，更具教育意義，這一點有百利而無一害。效仿最佳做法。