Most people learn over time, but often learning comes too late to be fully useful. There are certainly many things that I know now that would have been extremely useful to me earlier in my life; things that could have saved me from many of the mistakes and hurts I suffered over the years—and most of those that I inflicted on others too.

I don’t buy the romantic notion that my life has been somehow richer or more interesting because of all the times I screwed up; nor that the mistakes were “put” there to help me learn. I made them myself—through ignorance, fear, and a dumb wish to have everyone like me—and life and work would have been less stressful and more enjoyable (and certainly more successful) without them. So here are some of the things I wish I had learned long ago. I hope they may help a few of you avoid the mistakes that I made back then.

1. Most of it doesn’t matter.So much of what I got excited about, anxious about, or wasted my time and energy on, turned out not to matter. There are only a few things that truly count for a happy life. I wish I had known to concentrate on those and ignore the rest.

2. The greatest source of misery and hatred in this world is clinging to past hurts.Look at all the terrorists and militant groups that hark back to some event long gone, or base their justification for killing on claims of some supposed historical right to a bit of land, or redress for a wrong done hundreds of years ago.

3. Waiting to do something until you can be sure of doing it exactly right means waiting for ever.One of the greatest advantages anyone can have is the willingness to make a fool of themselves publicly and often. There’s no better way to learn and develop. Heck, it’s fun too.

4.Following the latest fashion, in work or in life, is spiritual and intellectual suicide.You can be a cheap imitation of the ideal of the moment; or you can be a unique individual. The choice is yours. Religion isn’t the opiate of the masses, fashion is.

5. If people complain that you’re too fond of going your own way and aren’t fitting in, you must be on the right track.Who wants to live life as a herd animal? The guys in power don’t want you to fit in for your own sake; they want you to stop causing them problems and follow their orders. You can’t have the freedom to be yourself and meekly fit in at the same time.

6. If you make your work your life, you’re making your life into hard work. Like most people,I confused myself by looking at people like artists and musicians whose life’s “work” fills their time. That isn’t work. It’s who they are. Unless you have some overwhelming passion that also happens to allow you to earn a living doing it, always remember that work should be a means to an end: living an enjoyable life. Spend as little time on the means as possible consistent with achieving the end. Only idiots live to work.

7. The quickest and simplest way to wreck any relationship is to listen to gossip.The worst way to spend your time is spreading more. People who spread gossip are the plague-carriers of our day. Cockroaches are clean, kindly creatures in comparison.

8. Trying to please other people is largely a futile activity. Everyone will be mad at you sometime.Most of the people you deal with will dislike, disparage, belittle, or ignore what you say or do most of the time. Besides, you can never really know what others do want, so a good deal of whatever you do in that regard will go to waste. Be comforted. Those who love you will probably love you regardless, and they are the ones whose opinions are worth caring about. The rest aren’t worth five minutes of thought between them.

9. Every winner is destined to be a loser in due course.It’s great to be up on the winner’s podium. Just don’t imagine you can stay there for ever. Worst of all is being determined to do so, by any means available.

10.You can rarely, if ever, please, placate, change, or mollify an asshole.The best thing you can do is stay away from every one you encounter. Being an asshole is a contagious disease. The more time you spend around one, the more likely you are to catch it and become one too.

11. Everything takes twiceas long as you plan for and produces results about half as good as you hoped. There’s no reason to be downhearted about this. Just allow for it and move on.

12. People are oddly consistent.Liars usually tell lies. Cheaters cheat whenever it suits them. A person who confides in you has usually confided in several others first—but not got the response they wanted. A loyal friend will stay loyal under enormous amounts of thoughtless abuse.

13.However hard you try, you can’t avoid being yourself.Who else could you be? You can act and pretend, but the person acting and pretending is still you. And if you won’t accept yourself—and do the best you can with what you have—who then has any obligation to accept you?

14. When it comes to blatant lies, there are none more egregious than budget figures.Time spent agonizing over them is time wasted. Even if (miracle of miracles!) yours are honest and accurate, no one else will have been so foolish.

15. The loudest noise in the world is the sound of people whining.Don’t add to it.

隨著時(shí)間的流逝我們一直在獲得新的知識(shí)，但是這些學(xué)問卻往往在我們需要它的時(shí)候姍姍來遲。很多對(duì)我早期生活應(yīng)該極其有用的事情我卻現(xiàn)在才知道，它們本可以幫助我在那些年里避免很多錯(cuò)誤跟傷害----大部分事情我也曾經(jīng)強(qiáng)加于別人身上過。

我不相信生活會(huì)無故地變得富裕而有情趣，那只是浪漫的妄想。因?yàn)槲乙簧�都充滿動(dòng)蕩和不安。也不同意錯(cuò)誤是已經(jīng)存在于某個(gè)地方好幫助我們學(xué)習(xí)的。那些錯(cuò)誤都是我自己犯的- ---出于無知、害怕還有希望所有人都喜歡自己的愚蠢愿望----沒有了它們我們的生活工作就會(huì)有更少的壓力更多的快樂（當(dāng)然還包括成功）。下面有幾點(diǎn)是我很久以前就希望自己能夠了解的。期待它們能幫助大家，即使是小部份人，能夠避免重蹈我的覆轍。

1.擁有一顆平常心。

太多我曾經(jīng)為其興奮，為其焦慮，亦或是浪費(fèi)了我時(shí)間以及精力的事情到最后卻被證明是無關(guān)緊要的。它們只是幸福生活里極其微小的一部分。我多么希望早點(diǎn)知道這些，以便能把精力都投入到這些關(guān)乎幸福的事，而不是其他。

2.這個(gè)世界上痛苦與仇恨最大源泉是對(duì)過去的執(zhí)迷。

看看那些恐怖組織和激進(jìn)分子，他們總是抓住過去的一些事情不放，或把一小片土地的歷史歸屬問題作為他們進(jìn)行殺戮的理由，更或是為了修正幾百年前的所謂的歷史錯(cuò)誤。

3.等待有把握時(shí)再去做一件事，往往意味著永遠(yuǎn)的等待。

一個(gè)人能做的最大的冒險(xiǎn)事情，就是樂意在公共場合經(jīng)常暴露自己的愚昧。沒有什么能比這樣學(xué)得更快。“哎呀”, 也是一種樂趣。

4.盲目追趕潮流是對(duì)精神和智力的扼殺

你可以成為一個(gè)廉價(jià)的時(shí)尚木偶，也可以成為獨(dú)一無二的你，這些都在于自己的選擇。信仰不是群眾的鴉片，流行才是。

5.如果有人抱怨你太特立獨(dú)行，恭喜你，你正走在正確的路上

誰愿意像動(dòng)物一樣活著？那些強(qiáng)有力的家伙們不希望你按照自己的意愿去做，他們希望你停止給他們制造麻煩并聽從他們的命令。但你得知道，你無法做到在卑躬屈膝的同時(shí)又能活出自我。

6.如果你將工作等同于生活，那么你將為工作而生活和很多人一樣，當(dāng)看到那些藝術(shù)家和音樂家的工作幾乎是全部的生活，我感到很困惑。其實(shí)那不是工作，那是他們的自我。除非你有無法抵擋的激情，恰巧也能讓你從中得以謀生，否則請(qǐng)永遠(yuǎn)記住，工作只是一種手段，而不是目的，我們的最終目的是享受生活。在實(shí)現(xiàn)目的的同時(shí)，盡可能地少花時(shí)間在手段上。只有傻瓜才是為工作而生活。

7.破壞關(guān)系的最快最簡單的方法就是聽信謠言浪費(fèi)你時(shí)間的最糟糕方式是傳播這些謠言。傳播流言蜚語的人好比瘟疫的攜帶者，相比之下，蟑螂都比他們干凈、善良。

8.試圖取悅別人是徒勞無益的做法總有些人會(huì)對(duì)你發(fā)飆。很多你接觸的人，在很多時(shí)候也會(huì)不喜歡、貶低、輕視或忽略你。另外，你永遠(yuǎn)也不知道別人真正的需要，因此你為此所做的所有努力都會(huì)付諸東流。放松些吧，愛你的人終究會(huì)包容你的過失，他們才是值得我們在乎的人。其他那些人，他們甚至都不值得花5分鐘去考慮。

9.沒有永久的勝利者踏上冠軍寶座是件好事情。但不要夢想著可以永久占據(jù)這個(gè)位置，最糟糕的是，你正決定為達(dá)此目的而不擇手段。

10.不可能取悅、平息或改造一個(gè)混蛋你能做的最好方式，是和他們敬而遠(yuǎn)之。變成混蛋也能傳染，你和他們呆的時(shí)間越長，你也越有可能染上混蛋的習(xí)氣或者你就成為混蛋。

11.努力加倍，期望減半

任何事情都是花掉你計(jì)劃的兩倍時(shí)間，最后卻只換來你一半的期望結(jié)果。沒什么好為此沮喪的，（中國俗話說：事倍功半）讓它去吧，你要繼續(xù)前行。

12.人是奇怪的偏執(zhí)狂

撒謊者總是撒謊，騙子總要行騙。一個(gè)人對(duì)你傾訴的時(shí)候，通常已在其它人的面前傾訴過，只是可能沒有得到想要回應(yīng)。一位忠誠的朋友，無論遭受多大的冤屈依舊忠誠。

13.接納自己

不管你怎么努力，你都無法逃避成為自己。除了自己，你還能成為誰呢？你可以扮演和假裝，但進(jìn)行扮演和假裝的人還是你自己。如果你都無法接納自己，沒有努力挖掘自己已有的東西，那么誰有義務(wù)接納你呢？

14.談到公眾謊言，沒有比預(yù)算數(shù)字更令人震驚的把時(shí)間折騰在這上面，是浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。既使(奇跡中的奇跡!) 你是實(shí)事求是并且準(zhǔn)確的, 其他人也不會(huì)那么愚蠢。

15.世界上最大的噪音是人們的抱怨不要再增加了。