想要?jiǎng)e人聽(tīng)你說(shuō)話，你得先讓人家喜歡你。人們相信他們喜歡的人。好的交流者能產(chǎn)生出“親和力”——這來(lái)自你的個(gè)性和你制造的融洽感覺(jué)。

職場(chǎng)上通往成功的道路有很多條，吸引人的個(gè)性也有很多種。但是下面的品質(zhì)似乎在吸引人、打開(kāi)別人思維和心胸方面具有普遍性。

Be Vulnerable, Show Your Humanity 脆弱，展現(xiàn)出你的“有血有肉”的一面

In speaker training 101, people learn to tell failure stories before success stories. Generally, audiences have more in common with those who struggle than those who succeed in life. If you worry about whether your teen will graduate from high school without getting involved with the wrong group, say so. If your father-in-law drove you nuts during the holiday weekend, it's okay to mention to your colleagues on Monday morning that you might not have been the storybook spouse. If you lose a customer, regret it rather than excuse it. If you miss a deadline, repair the damage and catch up.

在演講者基礎(chǔ)訓(xùn)練中，人們學(xué)習(xí)在講述成功故事之前講述失敗故事。一般來(lái)說(shuō)，相對(duì)于成功人士，聽(tīng)眾和那些逆境掙扎的人更有共鳴。如果你擔(dān)心自己的小孩在高中誤入歧途，那么就說(shuō)出來(lái)。如果你的岳父在周末讓你抓狂，那么周一的早晨可以告訴你的同事們你也許不是個(gè)模范伴侶；如果你失去了一位顧客，寧可后悔也不要找借口；如果你誤了時(shí)限，彌補(bǔ)損失，迎頭趕上。

People respond to humans much more favorably than machines. When you communicate with colleagues, never fear to let them see your humanity.

人和人的溝通比人和機(jī)器的溝通要友善。當(dāng)你和同事們交流時(shí)，絕不要害怕讓他們看到你人性的一面。

Be Courteous 講禮貌

Day in and day out, it's the small things that kill our spirit: The sales rep who empties his cold coffee and leaves the splatters all over the sink. The manager who uses the last drop of lotion and doesn't refill the container. The analyst who walks away from the printer, leaving the red light flashing "paper jam." The boss who walks into the reserved conference room in the middle of a meeting and bumps everybody out for an “urgent” strategic planning meeting. The person who cuts in line at the cafeteria cash register. The guy who answers his cell phone and tries to carry on a conversation out loud in the middle of a meeting.

日復(fù)一日，讓我們崩潰的都是小事情：銷(xiāo)售代表將冷掉的咖啡倒入水池，濺得里邊到處都是的；經(jīng)理用光最后一滴洗手液，卻不重新把瓶子裝滿(mǎn)的；分析員從打印機(jī)旁離開(kāi)，卻讓它閃爍著紅色“卡紙”燈；老板闖進(jìn)正在開(kāi)會(huì)的會(huì)議室，把大家都趕出來(lái)，為“緊急”戰(zhàn)略規(guī)劃會(huì)議騰出地方；有人在餐廳收銀臺(tái)插隊(duì)；有個(gè)男的在會(huì)議中接手機(jī)，并大聲講電話。

As a result, even the smallest courtesies kindle a fire that ignites chemistry and builds kinship. The courtesy of saying "hello" when you come into the office after being away. The courtesy of letting people know when you're going to be away for an extended period. The courtesy of honoring policies about reserving rooms, spaces, and equipment for activities. The courtesy of a simple "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome" for small favors.

結(jié)果，即便最小的禮貌也會(huì)激發(fā)融洽感、點(diǎn)燃親密的“火焰”。比如回到辦公室時(shí)說(shuō)聲“嗨”；不能按時(shí)趕回來(lái)時(shí)，要和別人說(shuō)一聲；遵守關(guān)于為活動(dòng)預(yù)留房間、空間、設(shè)備的規(guī)定；對(duì)小的恩惠給予一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的“請(qǐng)”、“謝謝”、“不客氣”。

Share a Sense of Humor 分享你的幽默感

No matter whether people agree or disagree with George W. Bush's political positions they typically admire his self-deprecating humor. At one of the Washington correspondent's dinners, that ability to poke fun at himself seemed to be the primary thing the media responded to favorably. Bush said at the lectern, "I always enjoy these events. But why couldn't I have dinner with the 36 percent of the people who like me?" At one such event, Bush even brought along his "double" comedian Steve Bridges, to make fun of his frequent mispronunciations. The double modeled for him one of his most difficult words to pronounce correctly, "Nu—cle—ar proliferation … nu—cle—ar proliferation. Nu—cle—ar proliferation." Then Bush tried it, "Nu-cle—ar pro-boblieration." The crowd went wild.

不論人們是否認(rèn)同布什的政治立場(chǎng)，都會(huì)敬佩布什的自嘲式幽默感。在一次華盛頓記者晚宴上，拿自己開(kāi)涮的能力似乎成了媒體正面報(bào)道的主要素材。布什在講臺(tái)上時(shí)說(shuō)：“我總喜歡這類(lèi)活動(dòng)。可我為什么不能和喜歡我的那36％的人共進(jìn)晚餐呢？”在一個(gè)類(lèi)似活動(dòng)中，布什甚至帶來(lái)了他的“替身”喜劇演員Steve Bridges來(lái)拿自己頻繁讀音失誤開(kāi)玩笑。這位“替身”模仿了布什最難說(shuō)對(duì)的詞："Nu—cle—ar proliferation … nu—cle—ar proliferation. Nu—cle—ar proliferation."接著，布什試了試："Nu-cle—ar pro-boblieration." 眾人都笑瘋了。

Self-deprecating humor can open hearts and minds to make people receptive to ideas in ways words alone cannot.

自嘲式幽默能讓人們敞開(kāi)胸懷和心思，比語(yǔ)言更能說(shuō)服人接受一些想法。

Show Humility 謙卑

Just as suddenly as lightning strikes, an act of arrogance can destroy an otherwise credible communicator. For example: Refusing to acknowledge people when they speak to you. Failure to respond to people's suggestions. Haughty body language. Time spent only with those of your "rank and ilk" at a social gathering. An amused smirk in response to an idea expressed in a meeting. An upward roll of the eyes meant to discredit someone's comment in the hallway. A talk jam-packed with jargon meant to confuse rather than clarify. Insistence that things must be said one way and one way only.

霎時(shí)間，一個(gè)傲慢的舉動(dòng)就能毀了一位本來(lái)可信的交流者。例如：有人和你說(shuō)話時(shí)不理別人；對(duì)別人的建議沒(méi)有響應(yīng)；高傲的肢體語(yǔ)言；在社交聚會(huì)上只和自己那“一幫人”在一起；在會(huì)議上對(duì)一個(gè)想法報(bào)以嘲弄的笑聲；在走廊里對(duì)別人的言語(yǔ)報(bào)以詆毀的白眼；為了故弄玄虛使用很多術(shù)語(yǔ)，讓對(duì)方云里霧里；固執(zhí)地認(rèn)為某事必須，且只能，以某個(gè)方式講述。

Credible communicators show humility in innumerable ways:

有無(wú)數(shù)種方式讓交流既可信又展現(xiàn)出謙卑:

* They let others "showcase" by delivering key messages instead of always having to be "on stage" themselves.

通過(guò)傳遞關(guān)鍵信息，讓別人替自己“展示”，而不是總把自己放在“舞臺(tái)”表演。

* They let others feel important by "interpreting," "passing on," and "applying" their goals and initiatives.

通過(guò)“詮釋”、“傳遞”、“落實(shí)”自己的目標(biāo)和計(jì)劃，讓別人感到重要起來(lái)。

* They get input from others -- and consider that input worthy of a response. (They don't ask for input "just for drill" if they don't plan to consider it.)

他們征求別人觀點(diǎn)——并且認(rèn)為這觀點(diǎn)值得做出響應(yīng)。（如果他們不打算考慮某觀點(diǎn)，不會(huì)隨隨便便地去要求他人說(shuō)出觀點(diǎn)。）

* They excite others by asking for their help, cooperation and buy-in.

他們通過(guò)尋求別人的幫助、合作及參與支持讓別人興奮起來(lái)。

* They share the limelight by telling stories about star performers.

他們通過(guò)講述明星表現(xiàn)者的故事來(lái)分享“星光”。

* They share leadership roles by telling success stories of other leaders.

他們通過(guò)講述其它領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者的成功故事來(lái)分享領(lǐng)導(dǎo)角色。

* They communicate awareness and appreciation of the efforts and results of other people.

他們表現(xiàn)出意識(shí)到并欣賞別人的努力及成就。