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Oh dear, it’s nearly lunchtime and I have done no work this morning. I wouldn’t mind, but I was at my desk before nine, full of beans and good intentions.
I don’t know how it’s happened. Three and a half hours have just vanished.
I did take a quick look on Facebook and Twitter, just to see what the world was talking about and what my friends did at the weekend. But surely that didn’t take more than a few minutes?
Though, come to think about it, I did spend quite a bit of time looking at photos that my friend Amy had posted from her holiday to Spain.
The place she stayed in looked gorgeous, so I went on to the hotel’s website to check it out. It’s beautiful, you should see it — infinity pools, white walls and azure skies. I’m thinking of going, but I had a quick look at flights (well, not that quick, you know what these websites are like) and they’re too expensive.
But thinking about holidays reminded me that I needed a new swimsuit, so I popped on to a few shopping sites to see if there was anything good left in the sales. There wasn’t, so then I got down to work — or, at least, checking my emails.
The first message in my box was offering me discounted teeth whitening, so I did a quick bit of research online into the pros and cons of home vs laser teeth whitening before I snapped up the bargain.
Then I got an email from a friend with a link to a site about cute kittens. I’m not that into animals, but who can resist a film of nine kittens on a sofa all bopping their heads in time to music or the recording of a kitten squeaking its way down a slide? Actually, I’m not sure if that one is cruel or cute, so I watched it a second time to decide.
And then, before you know it, I’m on YouTube being recommended other funny animal films I might like, which somehow leads me on to home videos of people falling over... and here I am with a rumbling tummy at 12.45pm.
I think I need help. I am a cyber slacker — powerless to resist the draw of the internet. And it’s not just me.
Once upon a time, when you got to work you had to, well, work. There was nothing but a desk, your files and, if you were lucky, a window to distract you.
A certain amount of time could be wasted looking out of the window, playing with your stapler and doodling on the back of an envelope, but quite quickly work became a more interesting alternative to just sitting and doing nothing.
Then came the internet. Now every time we get to the office and turn on our computers we are logging on to a world of distractions — the chance to do our supermarket shopping online, look up old music videos on YouTube, follow breaking news minute by minute — it’s a wonder we get anything done at all. Or maybe we don’t.
Last month, it became apparent that civil servants spend a good part of their day wasting time on the internet. Freedom of information laws forced the release of a list of the top 1,000 websites visited by thousands of Whitehall officials over a five-month period. And what a list.
Apparently, our taxes go towards helping them monitor live cricket scores, check Lottery results, shop at Argos, play games that allow one to ‘walk amongst goblin, elves and dwarves’, book holidays and even plan belly-dancing lessons.
There were also 21,477 visits to a website dedicated to ranking MPs in order of attractiveness — sexymp.co.uk — while a site called preseed.co.uk, which sells ‘intimate moisturiser’, was accessed 13,295 times. Baffling.
This list makes my online habits look quite pedestrian and is an alarming reflection of inefficiency and idleness, at the public’s expense, in the height of a recession — but it’s also proof that many of us are useless when it comes to resisting the lure of the internet.
I used to be a conscientious and diligent person, but modern technology has turned me into a procrastinator of the highest order.
One minute I’m innocently checking the news, then I see a story about Kate Winslet and, before long, I’m looking at sites trying to buy her skirt. I’m like Alice falling down the cyber rabbit hole.
Crackdown: Dragons' Den star Theo Paphitis has banned his staff from using Facebook
Like an endless Jilly Cooper novel, I skip from site to site thinking ‘Just one more page’ and — hey presto! — a whole afternoon has gone.
That’s because studies have found the internet is as addictive as smoking or alcohol. The more we use it, the more we feel we need it.
In a trial in April, one guinea pig described going 24 hours without being online as ‘like having a hand chopped off’, while another study in Maryland found that people who were asked to not check emails or browse the internet for a day reported feeling fidgety, anxious and isolated. But the internet isn’t just addictive; it erodes our concentration, which means we search for distraction more frequently than ever before.
In his essay Is Google Making Us Stupid?, technology writer Nicholas Carr argues that technology has changed the way our brains work.
A long-time internet addict, he writes: ‘I’m not thinking the way I used to think. I can feel it most strongly when I’m reading. Immersing myself in a book or a lengthy article used to be easy. Now my concentration often starts to drift after two or three pages. I get fidgety, lose the thread, begin looking for something else to do.
‘What the net seems to be doing is chipping away at my capacity and concentration.’
I couldn’t agree more. My concentration levels were never up to much at the best of times, but modern technology has left them almost non-existent.
I can barely go ten minutes without stopping work to check my emails or take a quick look at the news.
And it’s not just in office hours. In the evenings I can’t chat on the phone without looking on Amazon or eBay at the same time. Sometimes I feel as if I am not controlling the internet, it is controlling me. And it’s not a nice feeling.
'Studies have found the internet is as addictive as smoking or alcohol. The more we use it, the more we feel we need it'
At the end of yet another unproductive day, I feel harassed, dissatisfied and tired, even though I’ve accomplished nothing but filled my head with absolute rubbish. It’s the mental equivalent of eating junk food all day.
So, what to do? Well, try to exercise a bit of self-control would be the first thing. Experts recommend you force yourself to concentrate on a simple object for several minutes, without looking away.
Others advise using an egg-timer to set yourself 20-minute windows where you are allowed to do nothing but work.
But finding that most of us lack the self-discipline to kick our addiction ourselves, many companies limit access to certain sites.
A couple of years ago, Portsmouth City Council decided to ban its staff from using Facebook after it was discovered that workers were logging on to the site up to 270,000 times a month, spending an average 413 hours on it in just 30 days.
Dragon’s Den entrepreneur Theo Paphitis says he has done the same thing in his companies.
‘After all, no self-respecting boss would allow staff to spend all day talking to friends over the phone, reading out clips from celebrity magazines or passing on gossip,’ he says.
Too right, Theo. I just wish you were my boss, keeping me on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately, my boss is useless — that’s because I’m my own boss. At this rate, I’ll have to sack myself. Or at least give myself a written warning.
Admittedly there are software programmes such as Freedom (mac freedom.com) that can temporarily cut off access to the internet so you can get some work done.
But what’s this? I’ve just checked my email again and a friend has sent me another link. It’s to an article about how new research has shown that workers are more productive after watching a funny clip online. Scientists at the University of Copenhagen found wasting time on the internet might be beneficial to the workplace, making workers more focused, motivated and effective .
I’d best take ten minutes to look at more dancing kittens — just to get me motivated, you understand. Then I’ll start work...
參考譯文：
噢，天哪，已經快到午餐時間了，我今天上午一點工作都沒做。盡管我不是很介意，但是九點前我已經躊躇滿志地坐在辦公桌前啦！我不知道它是如何發生的。三個半小時就這樣消失了。我只不過是簡單快速的瀏覽了一下Facebook和Twitter，只是看看大家都在談論什么和朋友們在周末做什么，但我確定這不會花費很長時間。
然而，仔細想想，我確實花了相當長的時間看我的朋友Amy貼的在西班牙旅行的照片。她待的地方看起來很漂亮，于是我去酒店的網站上去看了看。它的美麗，你應該看到它 - 無窮遠池，白色的墻壁和湛藍的天空。雖然我也想去，我快速查找了一下航班（嗯，你知道的這些網站的，也不是那么快），但是太貴了。
對假期的渴望提醒我說，我需要一個新泳衣，所以我快速登上幾個購物網站，看看有什么好東西在打折。不過沒有，所以后來我開始工作 - 或者，至少，檢查一下我的郵件。
在收件箱里的第一封郵件是關于美白牙齒打折的，在決定是否搶購這個便宜貨之前，我上網去比較了一下傳統和激光美白牙齒的利弊。
然后我從朋友的電子郵件鏈接到一個關于可愛貓咪的站點。我不是太喜歡動物，但誰可以抵抗沙發上九個小貓隨著音樂搖擺頭部或一個小貓喵喵叫著做著滑步的視頻？但是，我不確定這個片子是殘酷的或者可愛的，于是我又看了一遍。
然后，你懂的，我瀏覽了YouTube給我推薦的我可能喜歡的其他搞笑動物視頻，然后無來由的又去了很久沒有聯系的朋友的主頁...一直到現在中午12:45，我已經饑腸轆轆了。
我覺得我需要幫助。我是網絡懶鬼 - 無力反抗互聯網的誘惑。而且我發現不只是我自己有這樣的問題。
曾幾何時，當你開始工作時，你不得不，真的開始工作。你面對的僅僅是一張桌子，一些文件或者你運氣夠好的話，一個窗口來讓你分心。
你可能會有一定量的時間來浪費，望著窗外，玩你的訂書機，并在信封背面涂鴉，但是對于只是坐著什么都不干，立即去工作倒成了一件有意思的事。
接著互聯網時代來臨了。現在每次我們走進辦公室就打開我們的電腦，我們連接上了整個世界來讓我們分神 – 找網上購物的機會，看看YouTube上的老音樂視頻，不斷的去追蹤爆炸性的新聞 – 在這樣的情況下，我們能做完工作真是一個奇跡啊。再一想，這樣真的好么？
上一個月，我們知道，公務員們每天在網上浪費一段相當長的時間。信息公開的相關法律迫使政府公開了在過去的五個月內白宮工作人員經常訪問的1000家網站的列表。真是一個令人震驚的列表啊。
顯然，我們交的稅資助他們看乒乓球，檢查開獎結果，去雅高的店，玩可以在妖精，精靈和矮人中行走的游戲，預訂假期，甚至上肚皮舞的課程。
比較有吸引力的國會議員專用網站 - sexymp.co.uk 擁有21477訪問量。一個叫preseed.co.uk 的網站，銷售“親密保濕”這樣的東西，被訪問13295次。真令人費解。
這份清單讓我的上網習慣看起來非常普遍，也為在經濟危機下勞民傷財的低效和無聊行為敲響了警鐘。但同時也證明，我們很多人是無力抵抗互聯網的誘惑的。
我曾經是一個認真和勤奮的的人，但現代科技卻把我變成了一個拖拖拉拉的人。
在一分鐘內，我漫無目的瀏覽新聞，然后我看到一個關于凱特溫斯萊特的故事，用不了多久，我已經在一個網站上試圖購買她的裙子。我就像掉進兔子洞里的漫游的愛麗絲一樣。
反抗也隨之而來：Dragons' Den的西奧已經禁止他的員工使用Facebook就像沒有結局的庫珀的小說一樣，我想著這就是最后一頁然后不停的去點下一頁 - 變戲法似的 - 已經過去整整一個下午了。
已經有研究發現互聯網和吸煙或酗酒上癮類似，越是使用它，就越覺得我們需要它。
今年四月的一個研究中，一個參與者描述24小時不在線就像把自己的手砍掉似的難受，而在馬里蘭州的另一項研究發現，被要求不檢查電子郵件或瀏覽互聯網的人感覺煩躁，焦慮和孤立。但是，互聯網不僅僅是上癮，它侵蝕了我們的注意力，這意味著我們為分心的機會比以往任何時候都更多。
在技術作家尼古拉斯卡爾的書——谷歌讓我們愚蠢？中，他認為技術已經改變了我們的大腦的工作方式。
在一個嚴重的上網成癮者的書中，他寫道：“我的思維方式被改變了，特別是當我閱讀的時候，這種感覺更為強烈。沉浸在一本書或長篇文章中以前對我來說是很容易的，但是現在我的注意力往往在看了兩三頁后就開始漂移。我坐立不安，失去興趣，然后開始找其他事情做。”“互聯網的所作所為就是在侵蝕我的能力和注意力。”
我十分同意。我的注意力水平幾乎從來沒有達到最高的水平，但是現代科技已經讓它們蕩然無存。
在工作期間，不檢查我的電子郵件，不去上網瀏覽新聞，這樣的狀態我只能堅持不到十分鐘。
它不只是在辦公時間。在晚上，我一面打電話，一面就會去瀏覽Amazon 和 eBay。有時我覺得已經不是我在控制互聯網了，而是它在控制我。這感覺可不好。
低效的一天又結束了，我覺得疲憊，不滿和厭倦，雖然我一事無成。但是我的腦袋卻滿滿的，只不過是垃圾罷了。這樣的心情和每天只能吃垃圾食品的心情是一樣一樣的。
所以，該怎么辦？第一件事就是練習學會自控。一些專家建議，不要開溜，而是強迫自己專注于一些簡單的事情。另一些人則建議使用一個雞蛋定時器設置20分鐘的時間，在這期間除了工作什么都不能做。
但是最終發現我們最缺乏擺脫網絡成癮的自律精神，所以一些公司限制員工訪問某些網站。幾年前，樸次茅斯市議會決定禁止其員工使用Facebook，因為他們發現自己的員工在一個月內登陸該網站270,000次，平均每個月在上面花費413小時。Dragon’s Den的西奧說，他的公司也采取了同樣的措施。“畢竟，沒有一個自我尊重老板允許員工整天和朋友打電話，讀名人雜志，或者交流八卦。”他說。
太對了，西奧。我只希望你是我的老板，好好的逼我一把。不幸的是，我的老板是無用的 - 那是因為我是我自己的老板。按照這個情況下去，我將不得不解雇自己，或者至少得給自己一個書面警告。誠然，也可以利用有自由（MAC freedom.com）這樣的軟件，可以暫時切斷互聯網，這樣你就可以做一些工作。
但這又是什么呢？我剛剛檢查我的電子郵件時，朋友又發給我另一個鏈接。這是一個新的研究結果——工人在看網上一個有趣的片段后，會更具生產力。在哥本哈根大學的科學家發現，在互聯網上浪費時間可能對工作有好處，其使得工人更專注，積極和有效的。
那我最好再看十分鐘的小貓跳舞好了，完全是為了調動工作的積極性，你懂的。然后，我將開始工作……
