Friending wasn't used as a verb until about five years ago, when social networks such as Friendster, MySpace and Facebook burst onto the scene.

    Suddenly, our friends were something even better - an audience. If blogging felt like shouting into the void, posting updates on a social network felt more like an intimate conversation among friends at a pub.

    Inevitably, as our list of friends grew to encompass acquaintances, friends of friends and the girl who sat behind us in seventh-grade homeroom, online friendships became devalued.

    Suddenly, we knew as much about the lives of our distant acquaintances as we did about the lives of our intimates – what they'd had for dinner, how they felt about Tiger Woods and so on.

    Enter Twitter with a solution: no friends, just followers. These one-way relationships were easier to manage – no more annoying decisions about whether to give your ex-boyfriend access to your photos, no more fussing over who could see your employment and contact information.

    Twitter's updates were also easily searchable on the Web, forcing users to be somewhat thoughtful about their posts. The intimate conversation became a talent show, a challenge to prove your intellectual prowess in 140 characters or less.

    This fall, Twitter turned its popularity into dollars, inking lucrative deals to allow its users tweets to be broadcast via search algorithms on Google and Bing.

    Soon, Facebook followed suit with deals to distribute certain real-time data to Google and Bing. （Recall that despite being the fifth most popular Web site in the world, Facebook is barely profitable.） Facebook spokesman Barry Schnitt says no money changed hands in the deals but says there was "probably an exchange of value."

    Just one catch: Facebook had just "exchanged" to Google and Microsoft something that didn't exist.

    The vast majority of Facebook users restrict updates to their friends, and do not expect those updates to appear in public search results. （In fact, many people restrict their Facebook profile from appearing at all in search results）.

    So Facebook had little content to provide to Google's and Bing's real-time search results. When Google's real-time search launched earlier this month, its results were primarily filled with Twitter updates.

    Coincidentally, Facebook presented its 350 million members with a new default privacy setting last week. For most people, the new suggested settings would open their Facebook updates and information to the entire world. Mr. Schnitt says the new privacy suggestions are an acknowledgement of "the way we think the world is going."

    Facebook Chief Executive Mark Zuckerberg led by example, opening up his previously closed profile, including goofy photos of himself curled up with a teddy bear.

    Facebook also made public formerly private info such as profile pictures, gender, current city and the friends list. （Mr. Schnitt suggests that users are free to lie about their hometown or take down their profile picture to protect their privacy; in response to users complaints, the friends list can now be restricted to be viewed only by friends）.

    Of course, many people will reject the default settings on Facebook and keep on chatting with only their Facebook friends. （Mr. Schnitt said more than 50% of its users had rejected the defaults at last tally）.

    But those who want a private experience on Facebook will have to work harder at it: if you inadvertently post a comment on a friends profile page that has been opened to the public, your comment will be public too.

    Just as Facebook turned friends a commodity, it has likewise gathered our personal data – our updates, our baby photos, our endless chirping birthday notes- and readied it to be bundled and sold.

    So I give up. Rather than fighting to keep my Facebook profile private, I plan to open it up to the public – removing the fiction of intimacy and friendship.

    But I will also remove the vestiges of my private life from Facebook and make sure I never post anything that I wouldn't want my parents, employer, next-door neighbor or future employer to see. You'd be smart to do the same.

    We'll need to treat this increasingly public version of Facebook with the same hard-headedness that we treat Twitter: as a place to broadcast, but not a place for vulnerability. A place to carefully calibrate, sanitize and bowdlerize our words for every possible audience, now and forever. Not a place for intimacy with friends.

    自五年前friendster,myspace和facebook等社交網站出現后，朋友一詞開始成為一個動詞

    突然間，朋友成了觀眾。如果說寫博客讓人覺得象是對著空虛吶喊，那在社交網站中發言則更象在酒吧里和密友聊天。

    隨著我們的朋友圈子擴展到了熟人、朋友的朋友乃至于7年級指導教室里坐在我們旁邊的女生，網絡友誼不可避免開始貶值。

    突然間，我們對遠方朋友的生活就象對身邊密友一樣熟悉---我們知道他們晚飯吃了些什么，對于老虎伍茲有何看法等等。

    在Twitter上找到了解決辦法：沒有朋友，只有跟隨者。這種單向式的關系更容易打理----不再為是否讓前男友看你的照片而煩惱，也不再為誰會看到你的求職和交往信息而頭痛。

    Twitte上的發言也更容易在網上搜到，這使用戶要對自己的言論多加考慮，親密對話成了才藝展示，成為一種你用140個或更少的詞匯來證明自己智力的挑戰。

    今年秋天，Twitter把它的人氣變成了美元，它與Google 和 Bing簽訂了利潤豐厚的協議讓用戶的微博在這兩個搜索引擎上得到傳播。

    很快，Facebook也步其后塵，將一些實時數據傳送到Google 和 Bing上。（Facebook盡管是世界上第五大最受歡迎網站，卻難有盈利。）其發言人人巴里斯奇尼特說這場交易中沒有金錢交易但是"可能有價值交換。"

    需要明白的是：Facebook和Google 及微軟交換的是一些根本不存在的東西。

    Facebook的大多數用戶僅允許朋友看到發言，他們不想出現在公開的搜索結果中。（事實上，許多人都不會讓自己在Facebook上的資料出現在搜索結果中。）

    這樣一來Facebook出現在Google和Bing實時搜索結果中的內容就很少了。當谷歌本月初進行實時搜索時，其結果幾乎都是Twitter上的發言。

    巧的是，Facebook上周向它的3億5千萬用戶提供了新的默認私密設置。對于大多數人而言，這項新設置將向全世界公開他們在Facebook上的發言和訊息。斯奇尼特先生說這項新隱私設置確認了"我們認為世界運轉的方式。"

    Facebook執行總裁馬克。齊克博格也以身作則，公開他以前的私密信息，包括一張他躺在一只泰迪熊身上的搞笑照片。

    Facebook還公開了之前的一些私密信息例如形象照片、性別、現處城市以及朋友名單。（斯奇尼特先生說用戶可以杜撰自己的家鄉或撤下形象照片來保護隱私，在用戶的抱怨下，朋友名單現在也可設置為僅限好友可見。）

    當然，許多人會拒絕Facebook的默認設置并繼續只和Facebook上的朋友們聊天。（斯奇尼特先生說據最新統計，超過50%的用戶拒絕了默認設置。）

    但想在Facebook上進行私人交往的用戶必須更加注意了：如果你不小心在朋友的頁面上發表了評論，而朋友的頁面又是對公眾開放的，那你的評論也會隨之公開。

    正如Facebook把朋友變成了商品，它同樣還收集了我們的個人數據---我們的發言、我們的嬰兒照片、一大堆雜七雜八的生日祝福---并準備將其打包出售。

    所以我放棄了。我沒去捍衛我的Facebook資料的隱私，而是打算讓它公開---前提是我把隱私和友誼的部分給刪掉了。

    而且我還會刪掉Facebook上我的私人生活內容，不留痕跡，確定沒有留下任何不想讓父母、老板、隔壁鄰居或未來雇主看到的內容，你最好也這么做。

    對于越來越公開的Facebook,我們需要象對Twitter那樣頭腦冷靜：將其作為一個傳播信息而非暴露弱點的場所；一個現在和以后，對每一位可能的觀眾都字斟句酌的場所，而不是一個和朋友親密交往的場所。